monday. sighs!
Monday, March 31, 2008 @ 8:55 PM
mondays are the worst days. ): had my hydro test today. went in late after pe. im rather worried abt the outcome of the test eh. as in seriously! i dunno what'll happen. gulps.
anyway, meeting with corde and kenneth tmr to plan next sunday's lesson. exciting! thn studying with germaine. hohoho! :D
pft 2.4km run on thurs. or isit wed. can't rmb lah. this week lah! im very very worried. don't understand why my life is kinda sucky now. apart from the whole choir thing. bad hair, like a moon. and im slow as tortoise! TSK!
and there's urban test this week. and i heard, macro too. please save me! this is just another monday blues kinda post. RAH!
CHOIR, my life
Friday, March 28, 2008 @ 11:04 PM
i am truly in love with choir. honestly, i don't know what i'll do if i didn't sing. i guess i wouldn't know how to breathe. both metaphorically and literally! HAHA! lame! but i can truly say. choir is my greatest love! :D i especially love performance preparation. although intense, you hear the greatest music created. you gain enlightenment to the intrinsic reward in singing, the 'hair-standing' experience. nothing can replace that. an experience i can say is just yours and yours alone to soak in. that said, sacrifices are necessary i guess. and tmr's one big example. sighs. wish i could have my cake and eat it at the same time. but yeah, compromise eh? so there's choir tmr earlier. at least im doing smth i like. but well, giving up smth else on the other hand. ): just for that little intrinsic reward and well, doing the right thing.
concert's in about 1 week plus. things are taking shape i know. :D and im very very proud of the j2s and the amount of effort you guys have put in. it truly is special. and the j1s for not giving up. well, we've really come very far, working at such pressured conditions and attaining this kinda standard. every single batch has smth special. and i guess i was lucky enough to experience this batch. i can definitely say that choir made up for my retaining woes. it's the last lap. come on. we'll get through it altogether. lovee!
SICK! ):
Thursday, March 27, 2008 @ 3:20 PM
so im at home. sick. ): drats. well, concert's in about 12 days. and we're FAR from being prepared. im serious. the standard if there, doesn't have the x-factor. the special feeling i get when i sang last yr and the yr before. i don't really get the 'hairstanding' experience. now, it's kinda technical that we are in tune (if we are) and that we're listening with each other. but anyways, yeah. can't wait though. :D i love performing with the choir.
okay. so ytd was secret galore. found out stuff that maybe i was never meant to find out. shocked and stunned. called jo to meet up and talk for almost an hour. gulps. it scares me how things can turn out this way. was way too depressed for choir dinner. so i just went home with kathy. well, i felt much better after talking to jo. calms me down as always. but fact still remains.
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cel: there's hope what! your screwed up logic though screwed up makes sense my dear! haha(: hang in there lah. for all you know.. HOHO!
meiqi: psp is fun right! :D i love my psp laa. heez. well, ct just sucks. maybe mids will be better lor. hopefully. and i love you too! grins!
lene: haha! yah. i knoww. i met her ytd. :D and sat's gna be fun. i think!
alicia: hey. haha. not really. sch life is just liddat. can't get lesser, can't get more exciting. not bad lah. can lah. haha..
school
Monday, March 24, 2008 @ 11:06 PM
sighs. today was back to school! and this week's timetable sucks like hell. ): had pe at 2nd period when i was feeling REALLY sleepy. ran 2.4 and did the usual jump over hurdle thingy. rather disappointed with myself. don't know if i could have done better? not your fault maydear! i choose to accompany you lah. but sorry for forcing you to run. ): gulps. maybe next wk pft i run first lor. thn you won't be so stressed! and on another note, i really love class times now. finally feel a bond with the class. and of course my darlings! grins. i can now say, school isn't the same without you three!
was blog surfing. whn i chanced upon germaine and xavier's blogs. omg. they're super 'healthy' la. as in their relationship and all. but you can feel happy just looking at them. haha! and it's the sweet kinda feeling! aww. :D but well, like what my dearest jacinta says. a relationship built on god, trust and love can't really go wrong. haha!
wanted to go down to nlb tmr. to research stuff. but jo's not free. so guess i gotta shelve that plan for next week? hohoho! nvm thn. and school ends at 3 tmr. AGAIN! 2 days in a row. it's tiring me out seriously. ):
can't wait for sat!
easter sunday
Sunday, March 23, 2008 @ 9:30 PM
truly. this whole holy week and easter was memorable. in many many ways. had our easter effort finally today. children mass + easter party. haha! the games were fun and the company was even better! i really like the yc and children lit people. they're really fun! :D
working with you's really enjoyable. you manage to cheer me up at the right times. talk to me whn i was really tired. listen to me whn i just wanna rant. help me whn i took everything upon myself. many many times. you're just addictive! :D
and meet my new drink addiction. TEH PENG. (totally irrelevant to above para btw!) i've been drinking lotsa teh pengs last wk or so. and skipped many meals! at least i haven't been eating much. which is so good for me. means that i can finally lose weight! totally got influenced by corde alr laa! haha..
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nat: yah! once an angel forever an angel! :D
cel: that's what i tell myself most of the times. millions have gone thru it. you can too. i will hang it there la. at least for now. haha..
my dilemma
Saturday, March 22, 2008 @ 10:03 PM
hello! have been so busy doing church stuff these few days. that church has become my second home. i quote jo. HAHA!
and stop confusing me. after talking to cel i felt much more cleared up and determined. but please. stop confusing me. my heart is weak and gets swayed easily. so stop swaying my heart! every little thing you do makes me turn. and i don't think im the only one who realised. so give me a hand won't you? it's so addictive and so repulsive at the same time. it becomes a great paradox. i wanna draw close and yet i fear. i push the idea out of my mind not wanting to have the slightest inclination. when i know my heart has already beat my mind to that destination. yes. how screwed up i am.
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meiqi: hey hunney. i think you're not very happy these few days also lor. we must study hard okay. im rather worried for you. ): cos i haven't seen you happy for quite a while. jiayou okay. bunney loves hunney. hugs!
cel: at least i passed my lit! barely. but i didn't fail! or else i'll feel like i've let you down!
annemarie: you niece! enjoying yourself in america! TSK! haha! happy birthday laa. :D and i dunno what to get you. just enjoy yourself in america? HAHA! stingy aunt! :D
jo: aiyoh. i really fail 2 subjs alr! terrible. time to change gear. work harder.
joyce the xianggong! : eh? chilli padi? doubt lah! HAHA! well, i did rather badly lor. sighs. sorry! let you down la. sighs. i'll work harder!
good friday.
Friday, March 21, 2008 @ 12:05 PM
so today's finally good friday. where i seem to have so many activities planned. went for walk-a-cross ytd till today morning. we walked for 9 hrs, stopping to rest at each church after a small session. it was super hard to keep awake during the sessions. esp at svdp where we did taize prayer. i was drifting in and out of real consciousness. going a few times into dreamland. gulps. but! this was definitely the most meaningful holy thursday by far. the agony of staying awake just to be with jesus. the exhaustion that threatened to topple us. the worst part was from st. anne's to svdp. we walked for an hour and were still quite far away. not much reflection done during that part of the walk. abit too shagged. the company was more or less what kept me going. jo darling, corde, jacinta, cal, kenneth, the ice lemon tea :D, becca, cassie, ivy. more or less. i don't think i would've been able to complete it alone. rather daunting. but well, we got back to church yes! :D
rewarding? definitely. for once in my 18 years of life, i finally feel good friday. crashed whn i got home. couldn't get up in time for 10 o'clock service. shats. have to go myself later for 3 o'clock's one. ):
results
Tuesday, March 18, 2008 @ 6:54 PM
totally sucky results. super disappointed. cos i did study. i know the reason. but it wouldn't be too nice to post it here. i just hope everything will be fine. i hope i won't be asked to leave school. im seriously worried. have a bad feeling tt im gna fail EVERYTHING. cries.
step up 2!
Friday, March 14, 2008 @ 10:44 PM
haven't really been blogging. super tired out and well, speechless. anyway, today was totally meet people day! went with cel, bins and pamela to watch step up 2. which totally rocks. makes me wanna learn hip hop. :D which i will la! hahaha! my new resolution! the moves were more than cool lah. it was god-like. HAHA!
anyway, met lotsa people today. weird! while me and bins sat at starbucks at ps waiting for them both, we met geraldine. who had some nj dance thing. thn, while sitting there, met kian. and qazim. THN, before gg up to cinema, we went toilet. where i met tricia. and MARY. omg la. totally meet people day!
random: i bought a pretty nail polish from face shop thanks to pamela! :D
choir was alright. it's getting better. and tangueando rocks la. just heard the UST version of it. omg! HAHA! and concert's coming up! people, pls order tix! tues 8 apr. victoria concert hall. 7.45 pm! :D $12/$15 and i really think choir rocks now. i don't know what i'll do without choir!
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anne: I LUBB YOU TOO! haven't seen you for the longest time la. miss you loads la. (i need geog help!) HAHA!
lene: YESH. i miss hugging you! so soft and cuddly. hahaha! class reunion soon la. no worries!
meiqi: no la. won't! cos no hopes thn not as much disappointment. true? HAHA!
traumatised
Friday, March 7, 2008 @ 11:19 PM
i am still in a state of blankness now. not that i'ld like to admit. but yes, i am in a state of void. the overload of emotions over the last few hours caused it i guess. didn't wanna show it la. i tried my best! quite sure no one realised.
im very very worried for you. i know there're stuff which you haven't told me and i know i didn't ask either. it's kinda like the unspoken stuff. i wish you'ld tell me. cos i know you will when you are ready. that's why im not asking. but im really worried for you. pls tell me if things are troubling you okay. cos i wanna be there for you too. the way you're always there for me the past 6 years? truth be told, you're just a phone call away. but i daren't call you. first time i guess. cos i don't wanna put any more pressure on you than that which you've put on yourself. but wells.. i hope you're fine and not do anything silly. (i know you won't. only i will! haha..) but still. im worried lah yah. so if you're feeling better and you read this just drop me an sms okay!
and i realised i've grown smarter. or more sensible. i know better than to approach matters which will both ruin my mood and cause the situation to deteriorate. do i know you too well? or is this situation all too familiar? cos i've seen it umpteen times. this time, i finally made the right decision. definitely.
i saw you today. running. sudden barrier. didn't know what to say to you so i didn't call you. feel as though im chasing after you. and it's tiring me out. (metaphorically. not physical chasing) maybe you ARE fitter than me in all ways. i hope this race was run by only the two of us. but im not sure whether it is. if it isn't i don't have the courage and the energy to continue knowing that i'll be losing.
well, feel might better after getting lotsa stuff off my chest. im tired out. exhausted and drained. but i'll recharge soon. and i'll be ready for retail therapy with the choir people tmr. one thing good? i'll laugh till i feel my lungs are collapsing. :D
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meiqi: yes hunney! it is! haha. sorry laa!
anne: omg. shut up you niece! HAHAHA! you auntie until so big. make me feel so OLD! tskk! terrible. no more present for you alr! -shakes head-
lene: what nonsense! you make me sound like im drowning. hahaa!
cel: DEFINITELY! dreams are nice. cos they take you away from the terrible reality. sometimes i seriously just wanna stay away from reality. no matter how naive or unrealistic or illogical it may be. i'll feel happier that way no? hahaha..
dreams
Saturday, March 1, 2008 @ 10:12 PM
a dream is a wish your heart makes. :D right cel? and i don't wanna wake up. EVER!
i smiling like an idiot! i could stare at you all day and not get tired. :D you make me smile. GRINS!
