yesterday was a sad sad day.
Saturday, April 26, 2008 @ 10:30 PM
okay. i admit it. i cried buckets last night. demoralised and beaten. sometimes i just don't know where to draw strength from. it's like doing so much and yet not reciprocated. it's like i was put here as a joke. to be made fun of, to be trampled upon and humiliated. and yes, i didn't cry. tear maybe. at that point in time i mean. i held back and resisted the urge to let it all out. to let everything bad that had happened through the day out. painful yes. but it kinda reminded me of where i started out from. in the beginning. and fears started to form within me. like i had just run so far only to realise i'm running backwards back to the finish line. or i have merely been negatively displaced. hate that feeling. pride maybe. but rather felt a sense of futility.
bypassing all that emo talk, i went swimming today with cel and lina. finally learnt something. haha. i shall not elaborate cos it'll only lead to my embarrassment. haha. but i must say im feeling much happier now. im not an emo person by nature lah. can't stay emo for so long. will kill myself. played abit of frisbee with the yc people. and made myself abit depressed. germaine will know why lah. haha. thanks for all the talks that we've had. you really listen well. and tell me the right stuff and all. and thanks for always having faith in THAT.
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meiqi: hahaha.. yesh pls. many many. and im not bouncy! im just crazy lah! :D
jo/corde: yes i like the mattress! who didn't? at least no backaches as with all the other camps. :D i was so determined not to get backaches i even brought a pillow okay. so of course i liked the mattress lah! :D
